Tackling Big Decisions When You're Prone to Anxiety and Overwhelm
My 5 step process for easier decision-making
Have you ever been paralyzed by the thought of making a big decision?
Does the idea of choosing the “wrong” option leave you stuck in endless loops of overthinking? Do you find yourself replaying every possible scenario, unable to trust your ability to decide?
For years, I let anxiety control my decision-making. I was so afraid of getting it wrong that I’d avoid making any decision at all, letting the weight of indecision drain my time and energy.
But over the past few years, I’ve developed a system that changed everything. It’s logical, research-based, and has helped me confidently tackle decisions I once found overwhelming.
This system works by breaking one big decision into smaller, manageable micro-decisions. Instead of focusing on the enormity of the final choice, I take it step by step. These smaller choices are easier to approach and have consistently led me to decisions I’m happy with.
I’ve used this system for decisions like:
Choosing which car to buy when my old Jeep gave out.
Selecting the right PhD program.
Deciding where Corey and I should move.
Picking a new jiu-jitsu gym after relocating.
Every time, I’ve felt confident in the outcome. Today, I want to share this system with you, step by step, and show you how it works using the real-life example of how I chose my Honda HR-V in 2018.
The 5-Step Decision-Making System
Step 1: List everything you want from your decision.
Step 2: Identify all the options available.
Step 3: Research each option and create a comparison spreadsheet.
Step 4: Narrow down to your top three options.
Step 5: Make your final decision based on your findings.
An Example: How I Chose My Honda HR-V
In 2018, my Jeep Liberty gave out, and I needed to buy a new car. Choosing a car is a big deal—it’s a major financial investment and something you’ll rely on for years. Instead of panicking, I turned to my system.
Step 1: List everything you want from your decision.
I started by listing every feature I wanted in a new vehicle. Nothing was too small or trivial—it all went on the list.
Here’s what I came up with:
SUV or crossover
Good maneuverability in snow/ice
Spacious for Corey (a taller, broader guy)
Roomy backseat for our dog and road trip gear
Better gas mileage than my Jeep
Bluetooth connectivity for phone and music
Non-leather interior
A unique color (anything but red—every car I’d had to that point had been red!)
Budget: under $30,000 (USD)
Your list will vary depending on your priorities. For example, if you have kids, you might need space for car seats or extra storage. The key is to get specific about what matters most to you.
Step 2: Identify all the options available.
Next, I Googled SUVs and crossovers to create a list of vehicles that matched my general preferences. I focused on aesthetics at this stage—after all, I’d be driving this car for years and wanted to like how it looked!
Here’s my initial list:
Kia Sorento
Honda CR-V
Honda HR-V
Hyundai Palisade
Toyota Highlander
Hyundai Santa Fe
Nissan Rogue
Nissan Pathfinder
Step 3: Research each option and create a comparison spreadsheet.
This is where the magic happens. I created a spreadsheet with all the vehicle options listed down the side and my desired features across the top. Then, I researched each car to see how well it met my criteria.
I used a color-coded system:
Green: Fully meets the criteria.
Yellow: Partially meets the criteria.
Red: Does not meet the criteria.
For example:
Green for vehicles with excellent gas mileage or prices well within budget.
Yellow for “okay” gas mileage or prices near the top of my budget.
Red for vehicles that didn’t meet these expectations.
Here’s what my chart looked like:
Step 4: Narrow down to your top three options.
Based on the spreadsheet, the Honda HR-V, Honda CR-V, and Nissan Rogue emerged as the top contenders. To finalize my decision, I went to test drive all three.
The Honda CR-V: I disliked the feel of the seats and steering wheel immediately.
The Nissan Rogue: Better seats but didn’t feel great to drive. Corey also found the passenger seat uncomfortable.
The Honda HR-V: Everything felt right—comfortable seats, great to drive, and it checked every box on my list.
Step 5: Make your final decision.
The Honda HR-V was the clear winner. I signed the papers, drove it home, and named him Burt.
To this day, over 5 years later I still love this car. My only complaint? The chrome edging on the gear shift occasionally reflects sunlight into my eyes. That’s it!
The Takeaway
This system removes the emotional overwhelm of decision-making. By breaking big decisions into smaller micro-decisions, you can approach each step logically and confidently.
Without this system, I would have frozen at the thought of choosing a car. But with it, I turned a daunting decision into an easy and satisfying process.
You can apply this system to any big decision—choosing where to live, which job to take, or even planning your next vacation.
The next time you feel stuck, try breaking the decision down into smaller steps. You might be surprised at how much easier it becomes!
Have you tried an approach like this before? Or do you have a big decision you’re currently struggling with? I’d love to hear about it—just hit reply and share your thoughts!
Until next time,
Rychelle