"The One" will choose you

Let’s say you’re dating someone new. They check every single box on your perfect partner checklist. You’ve never felt happier. You think you’ve found “The One.”

That one person on the entire planet that you are meant to be with. You’re forever person. Your life partner.

What if 2 years into this perfect relationship, that person sits you down and tells you that they haven’t really been feeling the same kind of connection to you as they were initially and they think you should break up.

You’re absolutely devastated. You feel as if you’re heart has been shattered. You don’t know how you’ll ever get over this. After all, you did just lose “The One…”

The problem with this scenario

By thinking you’ve just lost “The One,” you’re essentially telling your mind and body that you have to grieve this loss and that there’s no coming back from this devastation.

If you think your chance with the one person we were meant to be with has come and gone, it makes sense that you feel as though you can’t see happiness in your future ever again.

This basically sets us up for a losing mentality when it comes to any relationship in the future.

Believing this person was “The One,” you’re not going to be able to give any future relationship a chance because you’re going to continue comparing every new relationship to the relationship you thought you had with “the one that got away.” You may even think “Well what’s the point in even trying?”

You’re essentially dooming yourself to a life of unhappiness when it comes to relationships because you think the one relationship that was meant to be your key to a successful love life is gone forever.

A better way to think about it

It’s okay to be sad when a relationship ends…I’m not telling you that you can’t or shouldn’t feel sadness in this situation.

But, there is a better way to think about it.

Instead of grieving the loss of “The One,” it can be helpful to recognize that you’re sad or disappointed the relationship ended, but to also realize that by ending the relationship, that person can’t possibly be “The One.”

Because here’s the thing…

“The One” will choose you. Every. Single. Day.

They will wake up every morning actively and wholeheartedly choosing to continue being in a relationship with you.

If they decide that they no longer feel the same connection to you or if they start having affairs, or if they break up with you for any other reason, they aren’t actively choosing you and your relationship.

Meaning, they aren’t “The One!”

How to shift your thinking

When a relationship with the person you thought was “The One” ends, take the time necessary to heal your heart. Thinking someone is “The One” and then realizing they aren’t is still a hard thing to heal from.

But, it’s a lot easier to heal from disappointment then it is to heal from grief and loss.

We all want that magical, fate-based love story where we found “The One,” but it can be helpful to keep a little bit of practicality in the mix, especially if the relationship hits a dead end.

By practically thinking “If they don’t want to be in this relationship with me anymore then they can’t in any way be ‘The One’ like I thought they were,” it will take less time to heal from that relationship.

Now, you can move on and keep an eye for the person who is actually “The One” for you.

Until next week,

Rychelle